A Half Smile To The Left

ZOMBIES!! I Thought Firefox Was Supposed To Take Care Of These Annoying Pop-Ups!

2007-06-14T03:13:02Z

*stetches*

Ah, finally. The long drought is over. Now I can get back to posting here in my...zombie infested post apocalyptic livejournal...

...Well, I suppose it's better than the current werewolf situation on MySpace.

Now get out of my way, you decomposing primitive screwheads. My friends page needs perusing.

Seeya, Space Cowboys!

Merciless Melody Melancholy Makes Manitoban Moody!

2007-05-09T04:07:38Z

I feel a restless, jumpy feeling under my skin everytime I glance at my sidebar.

Because, really, it's time to change the song there. It's not that I don't love Jonathan Coulton. It's just that...well, we've grown apart. I've changed, and the song has stubbornly remained the same wolf infested, psychotically lyric-ed tune.

But wading through the fetid pool that is my music folder refuses to net me a replacement. Even putting my iTunes on shuffle doesn't help. (C'mon chance, here's your big...opportunity?) I was really excited to post the lyrics to the theme from the Witches of Eastwick...until I realized that: Da Da DAH DaDaDAH! Is more exciting to hum than to read.

That was the first of five instrumentals in a row. Garg.

Ya know what, I'm just going to switch it to John Cage's seminal piece 4'33".

Now if only it didn't get stuck in my head as easily ;)

Seeya, Space Cowboys!

God. Youtube...Never Leave Me!

2007-05-05T16:23:12Z

Studying. Painful.

Brain. Not. Worky.

Procrastination. Only. Coping. Mechanism.

Must. Distract. Self. With. Awesome.

Curses. I now belive that it's EASY to flip through the air and land (mostly) gracefully off of roof leaping. Oh, easily suggestable nature, will you ever learn?

I'll just have to crush my initiative with a poignant flash video about the importance of perspective. And other stuff.

Please Click Me. For The Sake Of The Kitties!

Aaaaaand...now I'm simultaneously tearing and grinning. If only I had something so wonderful, so happy, so altogether kayute as to bring me back to my usual mindlessly flaily self.

Oh wait :D

Well, now that I'm human again it's time...to get back to studying.

Dammit, I'm gonna get some coffee first.

*Dances in a flaily manner into the kitchen*

Seeya, Space Cowboys!

Is It My Fault I Live In A Dream World Of Magic?

2007-05-01T03:48:42Z

Admittedly, I have the occasional habit of over dramatizing.

It's not that I don't intend to report the straight facts. It's just that everything looks a little bit shinier when you cock your head fifteen degrees and make a point to search out the things that aren't there. (Like the powerpoint ninjas*.)

(*I realize that this is foolish. Everyone knows that a true ninja uses Adobe. They enjoy pain, even when it's their own.)

Which may have been why people were hesitant to believe me when I told them my jeans were obviously made by the mole people.

They fit FINE in the store. Better than fine. In fact, those treacherous dungarees did everything short of flipping off my enemies whilst bringing me cocoa to make me feel like we'd made a real connection. I happily pulled them on the next morning, and made to dash outside to catch my bus. I took my first step, and almost paused as a faint voice drifted up from my lower body.

*...waaaaait for iiiiiiit...*

Not terribly usual. But the bus waits for no crazy, so onward I pushed for another step.

*...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait for it...*

I pushed myself a little harder as I my ride pulled up to the curb.

* !!NOW!! *

The pants leapt to the bloody ground like my hips were on fire. I stumbled and gave an aborted "gawk!" as my underwear blushed a deep purple. I grabbed the belt loops from halfway down my thighs and YANKED up with enough force to leave me both decent and slightly airborne.

This nearly happened FIVE more times that day.

Every time I tried to hurry at all these acursèd pantaloons would start creeping towards the ground. It got to the point where I was hitching my pants in my sleep. Every night I tossed and turned because something kept tickling the back of my mind, only to wake up to realize that it was simply my mega-wedgie.

Luckily my new belt seem to have temporarily resolved the problem. True, belts are not a terribly well known weakness of the Mole People. But apparently it's enough to handle their pants. (And is cheaper/less embarrassing than a spotlight).

At any rate ;)

Seeya, Space Cowboys!

So...Cold...

2007-01-14T19:22:04Z

It is cold here right now.

Very, very cold.

Cold enough that if I had balls, I'm pretty sure they'd be sitting pretty on my head like some kind of wrinkly, cold pom-poms for my tuque.

(That was somewhat crude, but in my defense I'm banking that snark is better than politeness for keeping my cockles warm.*)

Yesterday it was -48C with the windchill. Today it is...unknown, because I do not want to venture from my bed. I don't even want to check the weather for fear of freezing my screen*. But soon I'll have to drag my butt outside to plug in my car. It's enough to make ya move to Miami.

But I'm pretty sure that I'd miss the seasons.

Dammit. When I'm reincarnated I'm coming back as Johnny Depp. He's ALWAYS hot*.

S-s-s-eeya, Sp-sp-space Cowboys!

*Sorry. The amusing jokes section of my brain has succumbed to the elements. All that remains is puns and fart jokes. You know, from the hindbrain**!

**Really, REALLY sorry.

Vacation Inebriation Conversation...Sensation!

2007-01-09T05:05:22Z

CJ:
Yeah, my buddy's moving out of the Kiriyu area into nicer apartment next month.

RIN:
Oh yeah...

CJ:
He's kinda bummed though, because he loves living in that area.

RIN:
Closer to work?

CJ:
Not so much. More of a dramatic preference.

RIN:
...Because?

CJ:
Well, now he can excuse himself from conversations by saying "Excuse me, but I must return home...TO KIRIYU!!!

RIN:
...I need another beer...

I Tried, But Can't Think Of A Way To Make The Baroque-Back Mountain Joke...

2007-01-04T03:57:09Z

Today, I know that I am not alone in the universe.

Finally, I am no longer Pachelbel's only foe. We may not be legion, but we are at least two. Oh yeah, Jyour going down Johann!*

From as far back as I can remember, I have hated Pachelbel's cannon. You see, an inordinate amount of my relatives got married when I was young. Those relatives, like me, were an infamously tardy lot. Sometimes the limo would get stuck on a bridge, sometimes the groom's tuxedo would be misplaced the morning of, and sometimes the priest went missing (Seriously.) This meant two things; As a family, we are likely slightly cursed...and that invariably I would hear Pachelbel's cannon fifty times a ceremony as we waited for everything to get forced into place.

And while I can appreciate the fact that it's a lovely melodie, bringing to mind holy unions and graduations and other precious moments...all I can do when I hear the melody is to wonder whether they eventually found that priest, or if they were forced to pull another one into existence from the confessional booth like some kind of holy kleenex. And also...that I hate Pachelbel's cannon.

But hark, apparently I'm not the only one. While browsing my friendslist, I followed a link to this guy:

Finally, someone to share my irritation. Sure, the origins of our vendetta are different, but you must take allies where you find them. Together we will ignore Pachelbel in such a way that he will feel self-conscious and possibly will ~~decompose~~ recompose his masterpiece with the help of this guy:

Because truly, this is the only version that is sweet. And also, tight.

And with that, I will leave you with a video of the cast of ST:TOS lip-syncing to Monty Python's "Knights of the Round Table". Because it drives me crazy to do things in twos, and I can't find another pertinent video.

Just assume that it's a reference to my icon, which in itself could be considered a metaphore for the cello in the first video, and this post shall come full circle.

Seeya, Space Cowboys!*

*This post can be explained by the fact that cold medication and Dr. Pepper** are not the best combination when your skull has been filled to the very brim with mucus.

**Not a physician. Rather, an astrophysist. Likely with attitude.

Throws Door Open

2006-12-22T08:20:09Z

*Gasps*

Oh thank God.

*Kisses carpet*

Oh sweet freedom. I've been trapped in that bathroom since the 24th of November. Apparently my new hand cream moisturizes a little TOO well...and I couldn't get a good enough grip on the doorknob for almost a month.

Of course, it's actually not quite as bad as it sounds. Luckily I was able to survive on toilet paper and dryer lint. I was even able to keep myself entertained with tampon fingerpuppets and tile skating (discovered when I felt that my feet could use some moisturizing too.) And my hair is truly at its most bouncy and shiny...hmmm...

*eyes bathroom quizzically...then mournfully shakes head*

Ahem.

At the very least, I'm finally able to return to posting, and...wait...what's the date?

Oh...I leave for Florida tomorrow.

...

Happy Holidays everyone!

PS - Beware the ~~ersatz oubliettes~~ Bathroom.

Old...Like The Scrape Of Dead Leaves On A Midnight Street...

2006-11-25T02:40:10Z

It becomes more and more obvious that I am getting older. Today, fifteen minutes before the end of my last block test, all I could think about was how exciting it was going to be to finally CLEAN UP my pigsty of an apartment.

(8.8)

(Note the eye-baggies. FYI, an excellent place to keep loose change.)

The only thing that will comfort me is ice-cream for dinner, a steady diet of the episodes I've been missing of Avatar and a quick read of Terry Pratchett's newest Wee Free Men adventure.

And a clean apartment. Dammit.

This Close To Exams I'm Just Glad That The 'Do Appears To Be Dormant...

2006-11-20T05:02:35Z

A Brief Conversation With My Mother Over MSN

ME
Mo-om...can you write my tests for me Thursday and Friday?

MOM
Aw, I would if I could.

ME
Hee, really? That would be awesome! "Rin is feeling apathetic this morning so her Mother will be filling in."

MOM
Ya know what, okay! Catch me up and I'll take care of it.

ME
Okay, uhm...kidneys are needlessly complicated filters, stage four cancers are universally bad, and...if someone's knee hurts, test them for Gonorrhea.

MOM
Uh...my knee hurts right now...

ME
o.0

MOM
DUM DUM DUUUUUM! STD KNEE!

ME
...Technically it's more STI...Thigh?

MOM
Stop being so anal about my vaginal knee infection, ya boob!

ME
*whimper*

As Always, There Are Two Ways To Look At This...

2006-11-06T05:17:01Z

On the one hand, my brother is departing for ~~the land of far-away~~ Japan for the next year. Suddenly I am bereft of free computer help, cartoon snarking and fellow amplitude player.

On the other hand, not ONLY are there five fingers, but departure also links me to the world of the future. Fourteen hours in the future, to be precise. Just enough time to fix a single mistake...and then to catch a Firefly marathon.

So while I am sad that I won't see my sibling till next October, I can take solace in the fact that that me and mine are watching over the present and future. And as soon as I or my sister moves to Calgary then the past will be safe as well.

Sleep well, citizens, in the knowledge that you are protected. And to my brother, I gotta repeat my previous advice. If you can't be good, be sure to be notorious ;)

And have fun!

rin_gray @ 2006-10-31T20:07:00

2006-11-01T02:07:24Z

...100 mini chocolate bars
+ 100 fuzzy peaches/cherry blasters/sour kids mini packages
+ 2 Trick-or-Treaters
Delicious Remaining Candy Feast.

*Mouth full of Kit-kat*

Math IS fun!

In other news, computer is broken. The ache in my soul is only consolable with sugar. Which is handy for my particular situation ;)

Seeya, Space Cowboys!

What the Deuce?!?!

2006-10-22T01:26:05Z

I used to 'nothing' Blue by Eiffel 65.

Didn't hate it (until the radio decided that it simultaneously cured cancer and bad breath, and played it twenty-four/seven in an effort to save us all.) but certainly didn't love it. At its worse it was an annoying earworm, but all in all its appearance and disappearance barely caused a ripple in my life.

Fast forward seven or eight years...and I am extremely befuddled to realize that I suddenly love it. It's bouncy, it would be GREAT to run to, and makes me want to run out and get a DDR pad. When did this happen, and what other brain changes have been going on when I haven't been paying attention?

Is it possible that I might wake up tomorrow to find that I love tomatoes, Colin Farrel, and sad endings?

*puts on self-examining granny-glasses*

Hn...no, I love Return of the Killer Tomatoes, but still hate the fruit. Nope, I love Colin Firth, like Will Ferrel, but still dislike Colin Farrel. Excellent, excellent. And I do hate...Uh oh. I liked King Kong. And that episode of Scrubs with Brendan Fraser. And multiple episodes from Battlestar Galactica and Deadwood.

My Gosh, I'm turning into someone else!!!<--(Apparently the type of person who uses multiple punctuation marks when one would suffice. *Le Gasp*...!!!)

Ah well, at least the process has an amusing music soundtrack.

*Tosses arms in the air and shakes it like a line-dancing Linda Blair at a rave*

Seeya, Space Cowboys!

rin_gray @ 2006-10-19T22:55:00

2006-10-20T04:33:12Z

"Ahhhhh," Rin smiled, making her toes dance underwater. It had been a long week, and it wasn't over yet. There were probably a hundred things left to do, but number one on the list was to grab a relaxing soak in the tub so that she didn't have to rearrange any items for a highly scheduled mental breakdown.

The evening's possibilities were pleasantly limitless. She could make a sandwich, watch a show, even make a frivolous post to her livejournal. She took a moment to savor the choices, then reached for a towel.

Which was handed to her by a familiar man with angry eyes and wooden shoes.

"SAMUEL L. JACKSON!"

"Nr, ben ik zijn broer, Dutchey L. Stereontypen! Geen tijd te verklaren. Er zijn Slangen die onze aandacht eisen"

A beat, as Rin stared at him blankly.

"Neuk niet met me! Het Nederlands, Moederneuker, spreekt u het?"

"...Bork bork bork?" She tentatively attempted.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Je hebt het niveau van een poffertje."

"...I'm not going to get anything done tonight, am I?"

Dutchey shook his head sadly.

"Fiiiiine. Let me get my whacking stick."

And once again, the Livejournal remained unupdated. Which is lucky, because all Rin would be able to post at this point would be nonsense.

Whew, dodged that bullet.

Seeya, Space Cowboys!

*Btw, I'd like to think I at LEAST rate as high as a waffle!"

Aha, Friday the 13th. I'm Guessing That Was Deliberate...

2006-10-14T04:12:25Z

I have just finished the last Lemony Snicket Book.

Gah.

That book hurt my heart. I should have suspected it about two chapters in, though. As soon as something becomes about the world, and not the story, even the gentlest endings leave me unsatisfied.

That being said, the poem part was beautiful. Dammit.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to plunk my head on my pillow and try to quiet my thoughts before they start snapping their teeth for answers.

Gah again!

Seeya, Space Cowboys!

Have You Seen My Hump Day?

2006-10-12T04:02:41Z

I could have sworn I left a Wednesday here somewhere...I just took a quick nap, and now it's missing.

I suspect Thursday of foul play. Mostly because if the days of the week made up the characters of a murder mystery, Thursday is the one that seems the most butler-esque.

I was going to qualify that statement, but I am still sleepy from...sleeping. So I shall bid you adieu, and hope that no-one murders Friday in its sleep.

Seeya, Space Cowboys!

rin_gray @ 2006-10-10T22:22:00

2006-10-11T04:44:51Z

I am beginning to suspect that my knees have developed astigmatism.

Really, that's the only explanation for the amount of shin-object injuries that I have been sustaining lately. I've discounted magnetic fibulas (which, by the way, would be an excellent name for a band) due to the fact that none of my furniture is made of metal. I've also excluded clumsiness, as I have always been a spaz, and believe that my former clumsy threshold had already ~~met~~ exceeded the maximum.

Therefore, I am forced to conclude that I have the only patellas in the world that maneuver about with accessory eyeballs, aka Kneeyeballs (prounounced NYE-balls). And my Kneeyeballs just ain't as young as they used to be.

Now I just need to find a pair of spectacles that DON'T look like I'm wearing rear-view mirrors on my knee. Or that I'm into the upskirt.

Although...kilts ARE coming back into fashion, right?

Seeya, Space Cowboys!

What The...!?!?

2006-10-10T03:57:10Z

I think the only way that weekend could have felt shorter is if someone had followed me around playing Yakety Sax from The Benny Hill Show.*

Or if there was time travel involved.

Dammit, why am I always in a "Click" situation, and not a "Groundhog Day" phenomena? I think I could get quite a bit done with an eternity of Mondays. At the very least my procrastination skills would be mad, yo!

My LiveJournal Friends

Try out this Meme

Brought to you by NardVille and BearPodcast.

Seeya ~~when I got you, babe~~, Space Cowboys!

*Warning, Star Wars: Episode Three Spoilers in the above link which was apparently cut together by geisler777**
**If the movie had included more Benny Hill-Esque remixing, I think even I would be a fan ;)

Purple Rain...

2006-10-08T20:13:34Z

...Should NOT drip from my head, outside of trippy 70s LSD/raisin-inspired cartoons about people vanquishing "The Establishment." Possibly with Unicorns.

The other day I received two free temporary hair dye mousses. "What fun!" I exclaimed over my tea and scones, tipping my hat at a passing Bobby. "I shall temporarily revisit days of yore, when my hair ranged from red to blue to purple to black. And with copious washings, the evidence shall be hidden before I am berated by my professors. How diabolically clever, and at the same time practical! Nothing could possiblie go wrong."

Had I only known.

You see, I think the last time I used temporary dye, I was about fourteen years old. Any dye-ing since that point was permanent. Therefore, I must have repressed the fact that temporary dye CONTINUALLY leaks colour!

Seriously, go out in the rain and it looks like I violently assaulted Barney with some sort of whirling blade. Take a shower, and spend the next hour dripping lilac splatters on my notes. Even my scalp seems to glow with a radioactive mauve that is more than a little unsettling when backlit by the blue light from my computer screen.

There is only one possible solution to this mess...

...and as soon as I figure out what that is, I'll be sure to implement it.

Seeya, Space Cowboys!

Rhinoviruses Only Charge In A Straight Line...

2006-10-04T03:42:13Z

Immune Powers...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN!

Okay, the exhaustion is normal, so I really thought nothing of it.

The nausea's a pain, but it ain't like I don't tend to get my fair share of it around this time, so it too was ignored.

But the fact that every word that dribbles out of my mouth right now is preceded by a "b" has convinced me that I'm getting sick.

On behalf of the organism entire, we are displeased. Except for the fingernails. They think they're above this sort of thing. But the REST of the organism resents this interruption, and hopes to soon discover and consume your viral flesh in a digestive orgy of pain and inflammation.

Likely there will be singing, enunciation catastrophies aside. Speaking of...

*Hums to myself*

Byou barre bmy suuuuuunsnine, bmy bonly sunsnine...

rin_gray @ 2006-10-01T12:19:00

2006-10-01T17:56:03Z

As much as I am vexed by physics, there is a simple beauty in Newton's First Law of Motion*. With no other stimulus, objects in motion remain in motion. Left to their own devices, objects at rest remain at rest. This perfectly sums up my states of consciousness.

No matter how tired I am, I never want to go to sleep. No matter how much promise the day ahead of me holds, I never want to get out of bed.

Which was weird yesterday morning, when I woke up two hours before my alarm was to go off, wide awake. I huddled in the covers, trying to refocus my brain on the task at hand (as opposed to outdancing Vikings, as I had been doing on the dreamscape not five minutes previous).

It was kind of hard, as my muscles were still sore from battle. But I knew that if I just...waittaminute...I was still sore from my from out-goove shaking Tykir? Doubtful. It was far more likely that I was sore from...

Great Leaping Sam Elliott! It was the day of PAAAAAAAAIN! And three freaking days early, too!

I cursed, as I had yet to buy any ibuprofen for this occasion (although I had PLENTY of tylenol, of course :( Knowing that the max effect would be reached if I could take them before the worst of the pain set in, I flew out of bed.

Only to come face to face with a swirling vortex of terror. Also known as bed-head.

I was in pain, and in a hurry, but even I had to take a moment and marvel at the wildness and rage of my hair. It seemed to swirl with a low, dark chuckle, and I was forced to look away before I was consumed by its fury.

Somewhat shaken by the encounter, I squeezed my eyes shut, and hesitantly reached up with a hairtie. I clenched my jaw shut in determination as something snapped at my fingers, but with a deft movement the hair was semi-restrained in a ponytail. Sure, half of it was still sticking up, but the effort was there, and that was what mattered.

Pulling on my jacket and shoes as I stumbled towards the door, I threw open to door to...

...Come face to face with a Jehovah's Witness woman and her five year old son.

They stared at me. With my bleary eyes, pinched expression, demonic hair, and morning breath that made the flowers on her jacket wilt. I stared at them, with their angelic curls, "hygiene", and polite "Don't Worry, We Save The Stinky As Well." gazes.

There was a pause as we both stopped ourselves from sighing.

"Is this Kaora?" The five year old asked. Adorably, in the way that religious children have.

"NO!" The mother said firmly, and then checked herself. She politely asked "Is your roommate in?"

Whew, that's right, these were the people that were trying to convert Kaora. There ARE advantages to looking like a lost cause afterall. I mentioned that she was out, and they very politely went on their way. (The five year old waved. Even the 'Do melted a little, going from malevolent to merely sinister;)

But even people not interested in saving my soul were not enough to stop me in my quest. I beat feet down to the Shoppers Drug Mart, growing more jittery and achey with every step. I didn't barely took the time to pivot when I finally found some extra-extra-extra strength Motrin. Slamming it on the counter, looking all the world like a sweaty, strung out drug addict (WITH cramps), I passed her my optimum card and growled "This. Please."

She took one look at me, one look at the prescription, and with one hand on a strategically placed blessed cross, she exchanged my money for the bottle and the receipt.

I didn't even wait until I was outside the store to rip off the childproof cap, break and seal, and to dry swallow a pill. People skittered nervously around, trying hard not to look directly at me. Luckily, I didn't care. There was a warm bed and a hot water bottle waiting for me at home, and God willing, some chocolate as well.

All stories should end so happily.

*Not to be confused with Carole King's First Law of the Loco-Motion**
**To do it.

Seeya, Space Cowboys!

Sadly, After The First Two Hours It Would Suck...

2006-09-30T04:29:25Z

ENTER SCENE
Sounds of combat echo down the hall as the camera speeds closer. The door flies back upon its hinges, revealing a figure frantically grappling with someone off camera. The two pivot around, revealing RIN, dressed in a red-soaked shirt. A wayward lock of hair whips her in the eye, leaving her just distracted enough to be shoved against the wall in the closet. She goes still as a coat hanger presses sharply against her jugular.

"What are you?" She breathes, eyes going wide.

There is no answer.

A moment later, down the hall, her roommate starts awake as she hears RIN screaming...

5 MINUTES EARLIER

RIN
Man, I'm whuped. I'd better put on my pjs, and then proceed to procrastinate for the next five hours. Soon...SOON the bags under my eyes will be big enough to carry groceries. And then Superstore will rue the day they had us pay for bags! *shakes fist*

RIN walks down to her room, placing her cocoa carelessly on her dresser. She starts to pull off her sweater, revealing a red shirt beneath. Halfway through the action, she bumps into the top drawer, knocking the entire cup down her front.

A pause.

That's...so hot...

RIN's face contorts as though her eyes are jumping ship and her chin's heading for the moon. She frantically tries to get the sweater the rest of the way off, but it gets stuck to her elbows. She desperately struggles with getting it off by throwing herself frantically forward and backwards disappearing out of sight. With a wrenching motion, she pops out one arm, the force of which causes her to pivot into the closet. Tripping on a form she was supposed to fill out last Thursday, she slams into the wall. Next to her, a hanger pokes her uncomfortably as her gaze is transfixed by something behind the camera.

RIN *Eyes growing wide*
"What are you?"

She reaches offscreen, plucking a DVD set off the shelf. Flipping it over to read the back, she begins to grin.

RIN *with glee*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! THAT'S where I hid my "Due South: The Complete Third Season." Sweet, I'm totally marathoning this again when I get the chance. But in the meantime, it's time to fill an ancient prophesy...and take a nap.

Rin casually flips off the lights, and slips into bed. She rolls over the get comfortable, only to come face to face with bed-cap wearing Abe Vigoda.

ABE
Rin, I'm sorry to inform you that the Prime Minister's gone missing. We don't have time to go over the details, but suffice to say, your country needs you. In fact, the very fate of the world now depends on the state of your cocoa. Quickly, where is it?

*GASP*

END.

Seeya, Space Cowboys!

Things To Ponder When You're Not Sleepy Past Bedtime...

2006-09-28T04:32:25Z

Why are people so worried when inanimate objects come to life?

Okay, I get the creepifying feeling of being watched. I get the unsettling implications this could have on the creation/destruction of the soul. I even get the vague guilt that maybe you haven't treated your shoes or your soup ladle that nicely, and the resulting fear that they'll take revenge.

But inanimate objects are inanimate for a reason folks, and it's not just the concept of free will. It's also the fact that they have no option of voluntary movement. Seriously, how can your dining room chair chase you across your living room to trample you to death without muscles, tendons, or even a makeshift pulley system.*

To that end, how would you even investigate the creation of new life in your room? Even if they WANTED to show signs of their newfound vitality, they couldn't. It's entirely possible that your shoes have already devised a devious strategy to conquer les Plaines D'Abraham, but sit in simmering, impotent fury due to the fact that the only time they can move around is strapped to a pair of stinky, sweaty, sock stuffings.

Of course, when you're half asleep, and the eyes of science are turned away from the shadows, I suppose it might be possible to hear them screaming.

"Would that my sole carried wings of knives, that I might rain destruction on all those purulent sacks of limbs that corrupt the Eden just beyond my laces. All this whilst my brother blots out the sun with the righteous foulness that seeps inside us. Our lack of mercy would spill across the land in screams of red and black. And all that despair beneath our shadow shall exclaim "AAAAAAAAH! SHOEEEEEEEE!"

And on nights where the moon is full, and your actions are more reflex than choice, you might murmur "Gesundheit" before rolling over.

And they would rejoice (if shoes could rejoice) in their dark hearts (if those came with life) at the fact that they were one step closer to annihilating the world and all those in it. And their soles would gleam darkly as they pushed...pushed...pushed forward towards the bed and...

...Okay, I get it know. Inanimate objects that come to life? Worrisome.

*Shudders*

That sleep forcefield is looking better and better all the time.

Seeya, Space Cowboys!

*Although if my dining room chair came to life, somehow achieved a state of functional movement, and then rigged an elaborate pulley system in order to ensnare and trample me, then truly it is more worthy to pass on its genes than me. At the very least, I would offer it the chance to pass along its splinters.

Hard Choices...

2006-09-26T04:17:18Z

Dear Veronica Mars,
Look, this isn't personal. Really. Sure, I sort of lost interest in you last season, but I did keep up with the eps on Television Without Pity. While those were snarky, you did seem to maintain at least a baseline level of interest. Kind of like bread after chocolate cake. Sure, you're filling, and you get the job done, but no matter how tasty your bread is, it's going to suffer in comparison if it comes after chocolate cake. On an unrelated note, I am inexplicably starving all of a sudden.

The thing is, ravenous or bloated, I don't really have time to watch you right now. I'm already having trouble balancing House/Prison Break/The Office, and BSG and Supernatural haven't even started yet. (If it makes you feel better, they will probably be cut as well. You can all cry together...all the way to the bank!)

Now, I know that I've heard some great buzz about you this season, and that you've learned your lesson about forcing a season long arc when the story doesn't really call for it, but I can't be lured back that easily. I have to put my foot down, and put it down firmly. Of course, I've also heard that the premiere is pretty awesome, and is totally available on streaming MSN...

...Just a click away...

...I'm totally going to watch this, aren't I?

My god, this isn't the ground! I've put my foot down onto a plot hole! Cuuuuuurses!

*Fwooop**click*

Eh, can't get too upset about it though. After all, if I'm watching it, the show's days are numbered anyhow ;)

Seeya, Space Cowboys!

Ahhh, That's Good Story...

2006-09-24T05:13:58Z

I have recently come across a copy of the complete series (granted, only thirteen episodes) of Brimstone. Considering it aired in 1998, I thought it might be nice to give it a run-through for nostalgia's sake, and then continue in my neverending quest to find the unaired episode of Jeremy Piven's Cupid (also canceled in 1998. It was a VERY hard year for me, especially considering Charmed then went on for another eight seasons. These two shows were actually the first two victims of the "Lynnsey-Destroys-All-The-Shows-She-Watches-By-Inadvertantly-Getting-Them-Canceled-Whilst-Hated-Shows-Flourish." Aka "Oh you've GOT to be KIDDING me!?!")

But my search will have to wait, because I am very pleasantly surprised at how much enjoyment I am getting out of rewatching this series. Quick round up of the plot, by lieu of the opening voice-over.

Ezekiel Stone: I was a cop. When my wife was raped, I caught the guy who did it, and I killed him. Two months later, I died. I went to Hell. A hundred and thirteen of the most vile creatures... escaped.
The Devil: They think they'll beat the Devil. Nobody beats me!
Ezekiel Stone: So how am I supposed to send them back?
The Devil: The eyes: windows to the soul. Destroy the eyes, and the damned get a one-way ticket back home to Hell. But it's not Hell you should be scared of. It's losing your second chance at life on Earth!
Ezekiel Stone: Time to give the Devil his due!

Erm...yeah, there was a lot of puns like the last line. However, there was also some very interesting takes on "the damned." Sure, you got your occasional folks that liked to drain the blood of virgins to compose tributary poems (like I'm sure we've all done before). But most of the time the folks were people who (on the surface, although only rarely when you scratched deeply enough) were just people screwed because of a set of seemingly arbitrary biblical rules. And the show was not afraid to make the damned understandable in order to make the Hero seem righteous. He often argued about who should be sent back, and had to plead for understanding with at least one soul before they were dispatched.

Now I'm making it sound all deep, when really, I was watching for the funny writing ;) I mean, take a look at some of these lines!

The Devil: I have always advocated family values, all the way back to Cain and Abel.

[Stone brushes his teeth]
The Devil: Four out of five dentists surveyed agree, tooth decay is no longer a problem... once you're dead.

The Devil: You don't have any friends, Ezekial. You're not only really dead, you're really most sincerely dead.
Ezekiel Stone: Isn't that from "The Wizard of Oz"?
The Devil: I HATE that movie.

Ezekiel Stone: You loved her, didn't you?
The Devil: I never loved anyone but God. And that was a long time ago.

What I'm basically saying is that thirteen episodes is not enough, so if we could get back on the horse for restarting the series up, that would be great.

In fact, let's also get cracking on Cupid, Profit, Farscape, Firefly, Undergrads, Clone High, Dead Like Me, Maximum Bob, and possibly Gargoyles.

*!chop-chop!*

Seeya, Space Cowboys!